THE HAUNTED GLEN

An extract from (THE GHOST-STORY-TELLERS:

THE ELDER'S EXPERIENCE: THE HAUNTED GLEN.)

contained in the BALLADS OF DOWN by GEORGE

FRANCIS SAVAGE-ARMSTRONG.

THE ELDER'S EXPERIENCE: THE HAUNTED GLEN.

The Goodwife of the house had risen up

And cleared the liberal board of plate and cup,

And Maxwell to his press had turned about, .

To bring his best of gin and whiskey out.

When someone came a-knocking at the door,

And in, amid the night-wind's ocean-roar.

The Elder, Gordon, staggered, scared and cold,

And all at once his late experience told : —

I.

“ Thon Ha'nted Glen sae murk wi' trees,

Wi' win's an' waters plainin',

It male's the bluid wi' terror freeze

Its paths tae walk alane in ;

Whun evenin's glooms aroon it fa'

An' dismal night grows thicker,

Ugh, then the wailin' voices ca'.

An' then the derk shapes flicker.

2.

" It 's no that A believe the Deed

Can ha'nt an' scaur the leevin';

Tae Mon the Blessed Buik haes said

Tae dee but yince is given.

An', haevin' deed, anither Ian'

Becomes the sperrit's centre ;

It 's bad' this Airth far'weel, an' can

Nae mair this Airth reenter.

3.

" It 's nae the Deed A fear, fur they

Can wark nae herm tae mortal ;

But dear ! sich shapes an' soon's uv wae

The staniest heart wud startle !

They 're moanin' there, they 're jibberin' here,

Ahint, afore, they 're flittin'.

They 're getherin' far, they 're crowdin' near,

Or cloak'd an' dumb they 're sittin';

4.

" An' a' sae sudden ower my sight

The spectral forms come gl'amin',

A shiver ower wi' tinglin' fright.

My een wi' draps ir str'amin'.

It 's no that A believe the Deed,

Ye ken, can ha'nt the leevin';

But thon Glen's paths alane A '11 tread

Nae mair by night or even.

5.

" A jist wuz walkin' frae the Kirk,

An' tuk the beechwud loanin' . .

An' my ! the night is wild an' murk.

An' hoo the wuds ir groanin'! . .

A miss'd the turn, an', ugh, A stray'd

Adoon the way A dreadit,

An' as it wound through deeper shade

A scarce had stren'th tae tread it.

6.

"Ootstertit jist afore my fit

A rat, or weasel, slidin';

An' roon' aboot me seem'd tae flit

A grey owl frae his hidin';

An' then the Shapes begood tae talc'

Their sates on bank an' hollow ; —

An', ugh, A heerd ahint my back

A dismal futstep follow !

7.

" A turn'd aroon', an' there A seed —

Great Gude ! — a ghaistly figure

Wi' bluid-stain'd neck and mangled heed !

A summon'd a' my vigour,

A strud alang, an' nae luik'd roon',

But onward strain'd a-trem'lin',

And aye A heerd the futstep's soon'

Through a' the tempest's rem'lin'.

8.

" A gasp'd fur braith, my heart stud still,

My stren'th tae water meltit,

My fit, thrust doon tae climb the hill,

Scarce reach'd the road or felt it.

At last I spied the cheerfu' glame

Here shinin' frae yer wundee,

An', Gude be praised, ye 're a' at hame.

An' gie an' kin' A 've faund ye !

"It's no that A believe the Deed—

Ye min' — can ha'nt the Leevin';

But thon Glen's paths alane A '11 tread

Nae mair by night or even."

" Dear ! " said the Goodwife, " Mister Gurdon, Sir,

Thon wuz a fearfu' veesion ! . . Wully, stir

The greesugh. . . Sit ye. Mister Gurdon, doon,

An' Wully '11 mak' ye up a jorum soon,

An' thon 'ull scaur the spectres frae yer ee,

An' werm yer buzzom. Tak' thon erm-chair, see ! "

And Maxwell in his hand a tumbler set

And bade the Elder, cold and dazed and wet,

Sit in beside the hearth, and dry his feet
Before the glowing pile of logs and peat...

Tha Appen Fire

Tha Appen Fire

Ivir tha past wheen o weeks I hae bin taakin aboot things ye cudnae bate wae a big stick. Weel maebae it's because I hanae got yin oany mere but I fair miss an appen fire. Och I know thur a locth o work: trapesin ashes through the hoose, trying to get the pan emptied wioot gettin covered in stoor, brushin oot tha hearth, I havenae forgotten the botheration. But the heartsome glow was a great company on a cowl nicht.

Maebae thons why it a pits me in mind o sittin roon tha fire as a wean. In thon days wae wernae spreatoot a iver the hoose o an evenin. Ivreyboady sat in the yin room. Ma faither readin tha paper, ma mither knittin' and ma sister drying' her hair yin side at a time. It's true tha rest o tha hoose wud o foundered ye but Im no sae sure that the cowl was the ainly reason wae stayed thagither, standing fornenst the mantle tae oor backs wus measelt wae tha heat.

Tha fire just made iverythin mere hamely. Even the toast we broont iver the flames on a lang toastin' fork tasted better than the slices that jumped oot o tha toaster. Bit maebae thon was a the way fir a hae mind o mae mither tellin mae aboot tha soda breed she had as a wean, baked on the gridel hangin fae the crook, an hoo it was better thon oany fae the oven.

Sitting here wae tha oil fired central heating gaen full bast. I simtimes wunder which is the waarmer hoose? The yin wae tha plumpim radiators or the home with smouldering peats and glowing logs. So if ye still hae an open fire enjoy it an until next time Lang may yer lum reek an yer spicket dribble.

An Aul Han

An Ulster Fry

       

Fae tha han o a low country lad - The Newtownards Chronicle - 8th March 2012

There are a wheen o things ye cannae bate wae a big stick. Tak an Ulster fry. It’s the yin feed ye can hae at onay time o’ tha day oor nicth.  Noo I’m no takkin aboot a mixed grill or a full English breakfast. Or yin o thon places where they gie ye thon dried oot hash broon American nonsense an tak awa yer proota breed and replace it with toast. An as much as I like baked beans thons no in an Ulster Fry. The same goes for mushrooms. Fungus belongs on deed trees no in a pan.

Tae aa thon whas education may be lacking an Ulster Fry should contain: sausages, bacon, fried eggs ( an ainly fried eggs, unless the last line o yer hame address contains the letters USA or your coming aff the drink they should never be scrambled),  black puddin’ (but not white puddin’, wae lee thon tae oor freens wha leeve iver tha sheugh), vegetable roll (sausage meat stuff with scallions), proota an soda breed (potato and soda farls) and a tomato sliced in half and fried tae it’s saft.

Once you have assembled these ingredients you are almost ready to start. The only thing left to do is grease your pan. To cook an Ulster Fry the pan needs to be weel creesed. Those of a more mature vintage will tell you that the correct way to do this is with beef drippin’. I’m no sae sure. For me white cap lard is hard tae bate. Of course if you’re concerned about living past your forties you may wish to use vegetable oil. 

The cooking of the fry is an art form in itself and takes many years to master. While you are learning just be sure no tae git sparked or japed. Whether you heid mae advice ir no. I hope ye enjoy yer fry. Until next time lang may yer lum reek and yer spicket dribble.

A wee song aboot tha guid oul Ulster Fry

Newtownards Chronicle 23rd Feb 2012

This article is from a series entitled: 
Things ye cannae bate wae a big stick

Fae tha han o a low country lad

‘Noo they taak aboot’ the  mysterious far east, by which I mean Japan ‘no’ Ballyhalbert, and their time honoured rituals. But let me tell you after watching ‘yin o’ them Japanese ‘tay’ ceremonies on the television, I came to the conclusion that an Ulster man would ‘dee ‘o drooth’ before the cup ever reached his ‘mooth’. Whoever said ‘Thur's mony's a slip twixt cup and lip’ never had to wait ‘twarthry oor’s’ sitting on their hunkers.

All ‘thon’ rigmaroll did get me thinking however, ‘wae micth nae hae’ the cushions and kimonos but the Ulster-Scots ‘hae a quare tay’ ceremony of their own with a whole set ‘o’ wur ain’ paraphernalia.

Firstly whether your using a designer kettle or an ‘oul’ blacked can, you need to have the water ‘plumpin’. Plumpin water cannot really be achieved with a modern kettle. ‘If yer no a wee bit feart o’ gettin japped wae a drap o scaldin watter, its no plumpin’. Next place the tay into the pot, for the sake o brevity I’m not getting into the whole loose verse bags debate in this article, just don’t forget, ‘yin fir tha pot’. ‘Noo teem tha watter iver tha tap an lee it tae stew’.

Once the brew has reached its desired density its time to ask the other drinkers if they would like to receive third degree burns, or at least that what it sounds like to those not familiar with the concept of ‘taakin a wee drap in thur han’.

Lastly we must consider the milk, ‘I niver boather’ with sugar. ‘Ma mither a tould mae I wus sweet enugh’. The quantity of the milk falls basically into three categories: a wee toaty taste, a brave taste or nane. Of course there are those who’ tak a drap o cowl watter’. But what ‘iver wae ye tak it’, enjoy ‘yer tay’!

Until next time’ ‘Lang may yer lum reek an yer spicket dribble’.


PS. After submitting this article I realised that I had failed to address the ancient ritual o slooterin' fae a saucer, a weel thurs a next time.

Ir ye full ?

I herd an oul yin fae mae mither tha nicht

Full as a fitch


The evidence would suggest that this oul sayin comes from the common vetch 'fitch' plant (vicia sativa) which was used as fodder for cattle and horses.

Alternatives
full as a po: full as an egg and full as the eye o a pick

Newtownards Chronicle - 2nd Feb 2012

Fae tha han o a low country lad

I decided a ‘wheen’ of months ago that I was now the ‘aul dug fir tha hard road’, in fact ‘I cannae mine’ when I was ‘tha pup fir tha pad’. Experience however does teach us twarthy things. ‘Amang’ these realisations is that many of ‘tha aul sayins’ you heard as a ‘wain’ are actually astute observations, delivered with the dry wit and brevity which are the defining characteristics of the ulster-scots language. Hindsight teaches us ‘monnies a guid lesson’. Like the fact that most problems do indeed have a way of working themselves out. A sentiment that I often heard expressed in my childhood as ‘its a lang loanin wae nae turnin’.

Fireside philosophy was a integral part of most evenings at hame. Complex concepts and sage advice where proffered on a wide range of topics. Of course they were couched in old proverbs and pared by the ‘hamely’ tongue. Nonetheless themes such as the inevitability of human frailty, the fact that as you get older, everyone no matter how important, needs a ‘han’ were summed up in succinct old ulster-scots sayings such as, ‘tha king aa cums tha cadgers road’. A cadger of course is a beggar or traveling itinerant.

I leave you however with an ulster-scots translation of a concept which modern spiritual movements have sough to understand and explain for decades, the theory of karma or cosmic justice, the unseen universal force that ensures all wrong doers eventually receive their comeuppance. Or as my Granda used to say to me ‘Aye... lang rins tha hare’. Lets face it you can’t pare down a metaphysical concept much further. If you ‘hae oany aul wurds ir sayins’ which you would like to share with me please send them to anaulhan@gmail.com

. Until next time ‘Lang may yer lum reek and yer spicket dribble’.

An Aul Han

The Newtownards Chronicle Jan 19th 2012

To anyone who is a regular reader of Fae tha Han o a Low Country Lad, I'm pleased to inform you that you can now read my bletherins every fortnight in The Newtownards Chronicle under a column of the same name. Of course if you're not from Gods country you can still catch up on my scrivens online at 'lowcountrylad'.

Yours
An aul han

Article - January 19th 2012

It's not long since most of us joined hands at the stroke of midnight and sang a verse or two of 'Auld lang syne'. A song which begins by asking, is it right that old times are forgotten? 'Fae tha Han o a low country lad' is my attempt at answering this question.

Since I began writing in the hamely tongue many people have contacted me about a word or a saying, in one of my posts, that they haven't heard in years. Invariably their remarks show a great fondness for the Ulster-Scots language and a longing to see more.

Like most of the people who grew up in and around the Ards I hae mine ( I remember) whun aa mae freens an femily spoke tha yin way. Except at school where talking broad  would earn you a clash roon the lug or maybe a rap roon the knuckles with a wooden ruler guaranteed to leave your hand dinnlin fur ours. 

Indeed as weans we encountered a multitude of requests that would would no doubt baffle most of today's children. Chief amongst these demands were instructions designed to ensure our good behaviour. Older residents of the Ards will no doubt remember being told to howl thur wheesht or mine oot o tha road. Indeed a weefla could get in bother just for stannin wae his twa arms the yin length.

Failure to abide by these instructions would inevitably end with gettin tha heid ate aff ye .  

 However we all knew that if caught in some wrong doing the best advice was, what iver ye say say nithin.