Friday, 13 April 2012

Stumpy's Brae



Tha burn tha tocht Stumpy cudnae cross















Whilst carrying out some research on ghost stories from the North West I came across the gruesome legend of Stumpy's Brae, occasionally called the Legend of Tom the Toiler.  

Stumpy's Brae is the steep brae between Craighadoes and Lifford near a bridge that is featured in the poem. It is interesting to note the use of the Ulster-Scots tongue throughout, as we tend to forget that this area was home to a sizable number of Scottish Planters


There is a wealth of information on the poem and it author Cecil Frances Alexander (who also wrote Once in Royal David's City. All Things Bright and Beautiful and There is a Green Hill Far Away) at :www.stjohnstonandcarrigans.com/stumpysbrae.html


Twarthy miles fae Lifford


















By Cecil Frances Alexander (Londonderry, December 1844)

Heard ye no tell o' Stumpy's Brae?
Sit doon, sit doon, young freen',
I'll mak your flesh to creep this night 
and your hair to stan' on end.

Young man, it's hard to strive wi' sin
And the hardest strife o' a'
Is when the greed o' gain comes in

And drives God's grace awa'.

O, it's quick to do, but it's lang to rue
When the punishment comes at last
And we'd gi' the whole world to undo the deed

That deed that's gone and past.

Over yon strip of meadow land
And over the bintie bright
Dinna ye mark a fir-tree stand

Beside yon gable white.


I mind it well in my young days
The story it was rife,
There lived in a lonely cottage
A farmer and his wife.

They sat all alone in the bright fire light
Wan blessed Autumn night,
The hedge without, the stones within,
Were streaked wi' the bright moonlight.

The boys and girls had a' gone doon a wee
To the old blacksmith's wake,
There passed one by the winda' sma',
And he gied the door a shake.

The auld man got up and opened the door,
And after he'd spoken a bit,
A pedlar man stept into the floor and tumbled doon the pack he bore,
A right heavy pack was it.

"Guid bless us a" cried the auld man wi' a smile,
"But ye're in the thrivin' trade",
"Aye, I have travelled mony a mile
An' plenty I have made."

The two sat on in the bright fire light,
The pedler had gone to his rest.
The devil he came to the auld man’s ear,
And slip’t intil his breast.

He looked at his wife across the fire
She was as bad as he,
"Could we no murder this man the nacht?"
"Aye could we rightly," quo’ she.

He lifted his pick without a word,
It stood behind the door,
And as he pressed in the sleeper stirred,
But he never wakened more.

"He’s deid!" cried the auld man coming back,
"What’s to do wi’ the corpse, me dear?"
"Oh, bury him snug in his ane wee pack.
Never mind the loss o' the sack. I’ve taken out the gear."

"The corpse's too long by two guid span,
Oh!  What’ll we do?" quo’ he.
Says she - "Ye're a doting, unthinkin' oul man,
Just snick him off at the knee."

They shortened the corpse, and they packed him tight
Wi’ his legs in a pickle o’ hay,
Over the burn in the bright moonlight
They carried him up to the Brae.

They shovelled a hole right speedily
And they laid him on his back,
"A right guid pair are ye" quo’ the Pedlar,
Sitting boldly up in his pack.

"Ye thought ye’d lay me snugly here
Where none should know my station
But I’ll haunt ye far, and I’ll haunt ye near
Father and son, wi' terror and fear, till the nineteenth generation.


They sat all alone the very next night,
When the wee bit dog began to cower
And they knew by the pale blue fire-light,
That the Evil One had power.

It had just struck nine o’ the clock,
That hour when the man lay dead,
When there came to the outer door a knock,
And a heavy, heavy tread.

The auld wife’s heid swam roun' and roun',
The auld man's blood did  freeze,
‘Twas not like a natural sound, but like someone
stumping over the ground
On the banes o’ his raw bare knees.

And in through the door like a sough of air,
And he stumped and he stumped around the twa’
Wi’ his bloody heid, and his knee bones bare
As he died that night awa.

The wife’s black locks ere morn grew white,
They say, as mountain snows.
The man was as straight as a rush that night
But he crooked when the next morn he rose.

And every night as the clock struck nine,
The hour they did the sin,
The wee dog began to whine
An' the ghost came clatterin’ in.

And stump, stump, stump to his ploys again
Over the taps o' the stools and chairs,
Ye’d surely hae thought it was ten weemen and men
Dancin' all in pairs.

A’ night, there was a fearful flood,
Three days the skies had poured
And the tap wi' foam and the bottom wi' mud,
The burn in fury roared.  

Quo’ she, "Guid man ye needne turn sae pale
In the dim fire light
The stumpy cannae cross the burn
He’ll naw be here the nacht."  


"For it’s ower the bank, it's ower
It's ower the meadow rig."
"Aye", said the ghost comin' clattering in a gied the auld wife a bat on the chin,
"But I cam' roun by the brig".

They sold their gear and across the sea,
To a foreign land they went
But sure what can flee 
from his appointed punishment?

The ship swam over the ocean clear,
Wi’ the help o’ the Western breeze
But the very first sound they heard on the wide, smooth deck
Was the thumpin’ o’ them twa bare knees.

Out in the wild woods of Americay
Where their weary feet they set,
But Stumpy was there first they say, and haunted them to
Their dying day, And he haunts their children yet.

Now that's the story o’ Stumpy’s Brae
And the murderer’s fearful fate.
Young friend, your face is turned that way,
This night you'll gang that gate.

Ye’ll ken it well, through the few fir trees
The house where they were wont to dwell
If ye meet any there as daylight flees,
Stumping about on the banes o’ his knees,
It’ll just be Stumpy himsel’.

Saturday, 31 March 2012

THE HAUNTED GLEN

An extract from (THE GHOST-STORY-TELLERS:
THE ELDER'S EXPERIENCE: THE HAUNTED GLEN.)
contained in the BALLADS OF DOWN by GEORGE
FRANCIS SAVAGE-ARMSTRONG.

THE ELDER'S EXPERIENCE: THE HAUNTED GLEN.
















The Goodwife of the house had risen up
And cleared the liberal board of plate and cup,
And Maxwell to his press had turned about, .
To bring his best of gin and whiskey out.
When someone came a-knocking at the door,
And in, amid the night-wind's ocean-roar.
The Elder, Gordon, staggered, scared and cold,
And all at once his late experience told : —

I.
“ Thon Ha'nted Glen sae murk wi' trees,
Wi' win's an' waters plainin',
It male's the bluid wi' terror freeze
Its paths tae walk alane in ;
Whun evenin's glooms aroon it fa'
An' dismal night grows thicker,
Ugh, then the wailin' voices ca'.
An' then the derk shapes flicker.

2.
" It 's no that A believe the Deed
Can ha'nt an' scaur the leevin';
Tae Mon the Blessed Buik haes said
Tae dee but yince is given.
An', haevin' deed, anither Ian'
Becomes the sperrit's centre ;
It 's bad' this Airth far'weel, an' can
Nae mair this Airth reenter.


3.
" It 's nae the Deed A fear, fur they
Can wark nae herm tae mortal ;
But dear ! sich shapes an' soon's uv wae
The staniest heart wud startle !
They 're moanin' there, they 're jibberin' here,
Ahint, afore, they 're flittin'.
They 're getherin' far, they 're crowdin' near,
Or cloak'd an' dumb they 're sittin';

4.
" An' a' sae sudden ower my sight
The spectral forms come gl'amin',
A shiver ower wi' tinglin' fright.
My een wi' draps ir str'amin'.
It 's no that A believe the Deed,
Ye ken, can ha'nt the leevin';
But thon Glen's paths alane A '11 tread
Nae mair by night or even.

5.
" A jist wuz walkin' frae the Kirk,
An' tuk the beechwud loanin' . .
An' my ! the night is wild an' murk.
An' hoo the wuds ir groanin'! . .
A miss'd the turn, an', ugh, A stray'd
Adoon the way A dreadit,
An' as it wound through deeper shade
A scarce had stren'th tae tread it.

6.
"Ootstertit jist afore my fit
A rat, or weasel, slidin';
An' roon' aboot me seem'd tae flit
A grey owl frae his hidin';
An' then the Shapes begood tae talc'
Their sates on bank an' hollow ; —
An', ugh, A heerd ahint my back
A dismal futstep follow !

7.
" A turn'd aroon', an' there A seed —
Great Gude ! — a ghaistly figure
Wi' bluid-stain'd neck and mangled heed !
A summon'd a' my vigour,
A strud alang, an' nae luik'd roon',
But onward strain'd a-trem'lin',
And aye A heerd the futstep's soon'
Through a' the tempest's rem'lin'.

8.
" A gasp'd fur braith, my heart stud still,
My stren'th tae water meltit,
My fit, thrust doon tae climb the hill,
Scarce reach'd the road or felt it.
At last I spied the cheerfu' glame
Here shinin' frae yer wundee,
An', Gude be praised, ye 're a' at hame.
An' gie an' kin' A 've faund ye !

"It's no that A believe the Deed—
Ye min' — can ha'nt the Leevin';
But thon Glen's paths alane A '11 tread
Nae mair by night or even."


" Dear ! " said the Goodwife, " Mister Gurdon, Sir,
Thon wuz a fearfu' veesion ! . . Wully, stir
The greesugh. . . Sit ye. Mister Gurdon, doon,
An' Wully '11 mak' ye up a jorum soon,
An' thon 'ull scaur the spectres frae yer ee,
An' werm yer buzzom. Tak' thon erm-chair, see ! "
And Maxwell in his hand a tumbler set
And bade the Elder, cold and dazed and wet,
Sit in beside the hearth, and dry his feet
Before the glowing pile of logs and peat...

Tha Appen Fire

Tha Appen Fire















Ivir tha past wheen o weeks I hae bin taakin aboot things ye cudnae bate wae a big stick. Weel maebae it's because I hanae got yin oany mere but I fair miss an appen fire. Och I know thur a locth o work: trapesin ashes through the hoose, trying to get the pan emptied wioot gettin covered in stoor, brushin oot tha hearth, I havenae forgotten the botheration. But the heartsome glow was a great company on a cowl nicht.

Maebae thons why it a pits me in mind o sittin roon tha fire as a wean. In thon days wae wernae spreatoot a iver the hoose o an evenin. Ivreyboady sat in the yin room. Ma faither readin tha paper, ma mither knittin' and ma sister drying' her hair yin side at a time. It's true tha rest o tha hoose wud o foundered ye but Im no sae sure that the cowl was the ainly reason wae stayed thagither, standing fornenst the mantle tae oor backs wus measelt wae tha heat.

Tha fire just made iverythin mere hamely. Even the toast we broont iver the flames on a lang toastin' fork tasted better than the slices that jumped oot o tha toaster. Bit maebae thon was a the way fir a hae mind o mae mither tellin mae aboot tha soda breed she had as a wean, baked on the gridel hangin fae the crook, an hoo it was better thon oany fae the oven.

Sitting here wae tha oil fired central heating gaen full bast. I simtimes wunder which is the waarmer hoose? The yin wae tha plumpim radiators or the home with smouldering peats and glowing logs. So if ye still hae an open fire enjoy it an until next time Lang may yer lum reek an yer spicket dribble.

An Aul Han

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

An Ulster Fry
















Fae tha han o a low country lad - The Newtownards Chronicle - 8th March 2012

There are a wheen o things ye cannae bate wae a big stick. Tak an Ulster fry. It’s the yin feed ye can hae at onay time o’ tha day oor nicth.  Noo I’m no takkin aboot a mixed grill or a full English breakfast. Or yin o thon places where they gie ye thon dried oot hash broon American nonsense an tak awa yer proota breed and replace it with toast. An as much as I like baked beans thons no in an Ulster Fry. The same goes for mushrooms. Fungus belongs on deed trees no in a pan.

Tae aa thon whas education may be lacking an Ulster Fry should contain: sausages, bacon, fried eggs ( an ainly fried eggs, unless the last line o yer hame address contains the letters USA or your coming aff the drink they should never be scrambled),  black puddin’ (but not white puddin’, wae lee thon tae oor freens wha leeve iver tha sheugh), vegetable roll (sausage meat stuff with scallions), proota an soda breed (potato and soda farls) and a tomato sliced in half and fried tae it’s saft.

Once you have assembled these ingredients you are almost ready to start. The only thing left to do is grease your pan. To cook an Ulster Fry the pan needs to be weel creesed. Those of a more mature vintage will tell you that the correct way to do this is with beef drippin’. I’m no sae sure. For me white cap lard is hard tae bate. Of course if you’re concerned about living past your forties you may wish to use vegetable oil. 

The cooking of the fry is an art form in itself and takes many years to master. While you are learning just be sure no tae git sparked or japed. Whether you heid mae advice ir no. I hope ye enjoy yer fry. Until next time lang may yer lum reek and yer spicket dribble.


A wee song aboot tha guid oul Ulster Fry

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Newtownards Chronicle 23rd Feb 2012

This article is from a series entitled: 
Things ye cannae bate wae a big stick













Fae tha han o a low country lad
‘Noo they taak aboot’ the  mysterious far east, by which I mean Japan ‘no’ Ballyhalbert, and their time honoured rituals. But let me tell you after watching ‘yin o’ them Japanese ‘tay’ ceremonies on the television, I came to the conclusion that an Ulster man would ‘dee ‘o drooth’ before the cup ever reached his ‘mooth’. Whoever said ‘Thur's mony's a slip twixt cup and lip’ never had to wait ‘twarthry oor’s’ sitting on their hunkers.

All ‘thon’ rigmaroll did get me thinking however, ‘wae micth nae hae’ the cushions and kimonos but the Ulster-Scots ‘hae a quare tay’ ceremony of their own with a whole set ‘o’ wur ain’ paraphernalia.

Firstly whether your using a designer kettle or an ‘oul’ blacked can, you need to have the water ‘plumpin’. Plumpin water cannot really be achieved with a modern kettle. ‘If yer no a wee bit feart o’ gettin japped wae a drap o scaldin watter, its no plumpin’. Next place the tay into the pot, for the sake o brevity I’m not getting into the whole loose verse bags debate in this article, just don’t forget, ‘yin fir tha pot’. ‘Noo teem tha watter iver tha tap an lee it tae stew’.

Once the brew has reached its desired density its time to ask the other drinkers if they would like to receive third degree burns, or at least that what it sounds like to those not familiar with the concept of ‘taakin a wee drap in thur han’.

Lastly we must consider the milk, ‘I niver boather’ with sugar. ‘Ma mither a tould mae I wus sweet enugh’. The quantity of the milk falls basically into three categories: a wee toaty taste, a brave taste or nane. Of course there are those who’ tak a drap o cowl watter’. But what ‘iver wae ye tak it’, enjoy ‘yer tay’!

Until next time’ ‘Lang may yer lum reek an yer spicket dribble’.


PS. After submitting this article I realised that I had failed to address the ancient ritual o slooterin' fae a saucer, a weel thurs a next time.

Monday, 20 February 2012

Ir ye full ?

I herd an oul yin fae mae mither tha nicht













Full as a fitch


The evidence would suggest that this oul sayin comes from the common vetch 'fitch' plant (vicia sativa) which was used as fodder for cattle and horses.

Alternatives
full as a po: full as an egg and full as the eye o a pick

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Newtownards Chronicle - 2nd Feb 2012

Fae tha han o a low country lad

















I decided a ‘wheen’ of months ago that I was now the ‘aul dug fir tha hard road’, in fact ‘I cannae mine’ when I was ‘tha pup fir tha pad’. Experience however does teach us twarthy things. ‘Amang’ these realisations is that many of ‘tha aul sayins’ you heard as a ‘wain’ are actually astute observations, delivered with the dry wit and brevity which are the defining characteristics of the ulster-scots language. Hindsight teaches us ‘monnies a guid lesson’. Like the fact that most problems do indeed have a way of working themselves out. A sentiment that I often heard expressed in my childhood as ‘its a lang loanin wae nae turnin’.

Fireside philosophy was a integral part of most evenings at hame. Complex concepts and sage advice where proffered on a wide range of topics. Of course they were couched in old proverbs and pared by the ‘hamely’ tongue. Nonetheless themes such as the inevitability of human frailty, the fact that as you get older, everyone no matter how important, needs a ‘han’ were summed up in succinct old ulster-scots sayings such as, ‘tha king aa cums tha cadgers road’. A cadger of course is a beggar or traveling itinerant.

I leave you however with an ulster-scots translation of a concept which modern spiritual movements have sough to understand and explain for decades, the theory of karma or cosmic justice, the unseen universal force that ensures all wrong doers eventually receive their comeuppance. Or as my Granda used to say to me ‘Aye... lang rins tha hare’. Lets face it you can’t pare down a metaphysical concept much further. If you ‘hae oany aul wurds ir sayins’ which you would like to share with me please send them to anaulhan@gmail.com
. Until next time ‘Lang may yer lum reek and yer spicket dribble’.

An Aul Han